Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
