I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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