Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
