i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
