we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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