im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
