he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
