Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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