Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize