would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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