Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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