Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
