if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
