dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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