I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
