You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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