i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
