Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
