i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
