your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize