he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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