I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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