I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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