By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
