Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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