i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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