Betty ford says i'm here all night
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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