Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
