I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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