we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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