we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
