she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
