Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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