We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
