Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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