I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there was a trapeze. enough said
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize