I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
