dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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