I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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