I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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