we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
