she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
