We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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