I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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