Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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