my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
