I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
