Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
