why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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