Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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