I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
