My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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