bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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