you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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