why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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