i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
