My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
