He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
