So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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