you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
